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Suddenly single? Six ways to cope

| October 02, 2017
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Losing our spouse, be it through death or divorce, is always difficult. For those of us over fifty, especially, the end of a marriage may feel like the end of the world. Take it from me, though: It isn’t.

“To plant a seed, we must dig into the dark soil.” This saying holds more than a kernel of truth. Even the most devastating occurrences can stimulate new growth—personal, spiritual, and financial—with the proper self-care.

But where to start? Based on my own experiences and others’, I’ve developed these six suggestions to help anyone “suddenly single” recover from loss, and carry on:

  1. Embrace change. The human brain is wired for certainty, which is why an uncertain future can make us feel anxious, even fearful. We can trick our brains, however, by consciously opening our hearts and minds to whatever lies ahead, and remembering that we alone have the power to live our lives.
  2. Find support. If you don’t already have a network, consider building one to help you navigate your new life. You will need at least two very close friends, an attorney, a financial advisor, your closest family members, and a therapist.
  3. Take care yourself—first. Get plenty of sleep, exercise, healthy nutrition, and sharing time with those you can trust. And don’t forget to “stop and smell the roses”—to enjoy life’s many pleasures.
  4. Create balance. Thankfully, a day consists of 24 hours, allowing for eight hours’ sleep, eight hours’ work, and eight hours’ play—a perfect balance.
  5. Dare to dream. Make a “vision board” on which you write your goals for the next one, five, and 10 years, along with pictures that motivate you. This takes courage, but it really does help to move beyond the painful past and into a more positive future.
  6. Take action. During stressful times, keeping our commitments can feel impossible. I recommend an “action plan,” writing down all that you must do and how you will do it. Later, you can review, track your progress, and make changes. This important step will help you make decisions in your own best interest.

Finding ourselves alone in the world can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Tending to ourselves, our daily lives, and our finances in times of grief and loss can empower us to turn the page on an ending, and start a new chapter. So plant the seed and allow yourself to dig into the dark soil, by taking initiative and making this new chapter a more successful and powerful one. Come in for a free consultation at Fulcrum Financial Group.


1403 S. Grand Blvd. Suite 201 N.

Spokane, WA 99203

  1. 509-747-2075
  2. 509-456-2438


                                           Securities and advisory services offered through LPL Financial, a Registered Investment Advisor, Member FINRA/SIPC.


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